PIRATE CLICHES
Having done quite a bit of pirate submission reading, here are some things I never want to see again, even though some of the stories they manifested themselves in overcame the cliche.
- Gulls wheeling. Gulls flapping their wings. Gulls doing anything.
- Captains of Her Majesty's navy who have doctor sidekicks and the great relationship they have together (platonic).
- Dead pirate captains cursed to wander the seas in their ghost ships, scaring the shit out of people.
- References to Peter Pan and Captain Hook.
- Burly men and willin' women.
- Arrr. Listen close. For a pint o' grog I'll tell ye a story. Arrr.
- The passing of gas out of proportion to any other element of the story.
Seriously, though, most submissions have required a very close reading and we're having a lot of fun.
Jeff
posted by JeffV @ 8:49 AM
8 comments
8 Comments:
Working on my submission now.
Ha! You mean like
As the gulls wheeled overhead, Rankin, the captain's favorite doctor, a burly sort, wrestled with the dead pirate captain over the charms of a willin' woman while passing gas as a defensive maneuver and thinking of his days as a lost boy.
Jeff
He he! ;-)
How about giant mutated seagulls who are also pirates?
Buccaneer gulls, with eyepatches... of course, seagulls don't have much in the way of shoulders that a parrot can perch on, but a tiny monkey on a leash will do.
Arr...
http://www.netscape.com/viewstory/2006/12/22/japan-researchers-film-live-giant-squid/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fnews.yahoo.com%2Fs%2Fap%2F20061222%2Fap_on_sc%2Fjapan_giant_squid&frame=true
oops...well, I'll keep that in mind in the future.
First thing we'll do, we'll kill all the seagulls
Oh, mentioning seagulls is a minor, minor offense that would never affect a decision on a story. But it is funny that almost every story we've received includes "wheeling gulls".
JeffV
I guess I like using them because they were my first real introduction to the Texas Gulf Coast when I moved to Galveston for about a year. I knew I was someplace different when I got out of my truck to pump gas and heard/saw gulls flying around overhead.
Seagulls? We don't need no stinkin' seagulls.
As for them wheeling, what's West (BG) Virginia got to do with piratical adverturing anyway?
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